Painful Past

July 29th 2008 was one of the happiest day of my life. I found out I was pregnant. We had not truly been trying but we welcomed the news as if we had. The first 12 weeks I was so nervous because that time frame has always been considered very critical in the potential of making it to full term or having a miscarriage. Once I reached 14 weeks I was able to breath easier with less apprehension. Also during that time preparations for our baby moved forward full speed. My husband was schedule to deploy in Dec so he did all he could to finish the baby nursery. How beautiful it was... our theme was Classic winnie the pooh and ironically we found a beautiful light green paint called "christopher robin". My 17 week appointment came. It was a very important one because it was then we would find out if we were going to have a boy or a girl. It was that day we found out we would be naming our baby Jacob. Although it all started with joy, hope and laughter it did not end that way. On Nov 10th 2008 we lost our precious baby boy Jacob. The technical term was "incompetent cervix" in our world it was plain devastation. Even though 1 1/2 years have gone by, the thought of me losing Jacob always brings pain to my heart... And so this is how my journey for baby started....